Save Green / &I'm Green; Fill me in

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Concerning family matters // Causes

Emotion/s: Blurry (I just woke up, you see...), random...

Current Song: Find The Way by Mika Nakashima

Seriously, I just don't understand these days. Couldn't understand what's happening to me, and as to my surroundings as well. I lost touch from the reality; can't seem to think properly, getting blurry over and over again, stuffs etc. Things became worse everytime I search deeper into the problems, like I was forbidden to solve any of them. Sounds wrong, huh? Yes, but that's the reality. I might slow things down if I try harder...and I wish I could end all these confusion soon.

Maybe I was worried about my family's condition; My mom can't take dad's nagging any longer. She's already fed-up with him, as well as her children too, including me. Maybe we didn't listen to what she's said. As the eldest brother, I'm not a fan of doing chores. But I still did everytime I go back home. I understand my mom's condition but what else can I do than trying to listen and do her biddings, including to pray for my whole family. I realized myself that I'm not a good brother but I did my best. I tried to tell my mom about my problems but what I did was pouring gasoline onto a fire...

As for my dad, he's kinda hot tempered person. But still, he got his rationale. I understand how hard he worked, doing this and that, contracts, canteen management etc. He's doing a lot of works, trying to give the best for the family. But sometimes when I did mistakes, my mom's the one that get the naggings, not me. It's just not fair...if I could, I rather to take it. Pity my mom...

Let's put it this way; If my mom likes something, my dad don't...and it went vice versa every time. Plus, my brother kept asking me to pay him back. Really...like I have all the money to give him. He didn't realized that my weekly money my parents gave me usually isn't enough, and I have to borrow from my friends and pay them back the other week when I have some extras. Living at my campus area is just needs a lot of money. I realized that at times I do overspent but I did save my money....and I did my best to please everyone. So please understand... we're in a family but don't you have yourself a heart of giving excuse for me, or just forget if it's just little things?

Almost every night I pray for my family, hoping things will get better soon. I don't care I just want to regain my conscious back and change things back to normal. Za, thanks for helping me and listened to my blabbering all this while. Yes, it's a matter that I must settle by myself. Thanks again for all your support until now. I hope things get better for you too...

Hmm...this will be my last week staying here at my apartment before having a 2 weeks holiday starting next week. Eid al Fitr is just around the corner, and most people are happy. Some of them sad for some reasons. But I just hope that people will cheer up this Eid.

Hmm....what else?

Nothing else...haha. XD

♠/MY Green Personalities

Khair a.k.a Gypsydres
Talks as much as he observes
As emo as his gh3ys.
Hard as rock and twice as sensitive :)

♣/ The Green Hobbies

Anime, manga, games~~
Cosplay~~ (just started)
Writing poems and stuffs
Reading stuffs
Slacking :p
Chatting (I'm talkative XD)
ParaPara Paradise
Initial D arcade (not pro) ^^"

...and the rest you ask yourself.