Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Of last night and today's end
Emotion/s: A lil bit of everything; Satisfaction, a lil free...not to forget, remorse and a lil sad.
Current Song: How You Remind Me by Nickelback
Woohoo! At last, a great diploma burden has been kinda lifted... wait... still got that darn maths exam... and Java Programming too. =.=;;
..but nevermind. The maths quiz has been postponed till Monday next week. Still got time to study lol. Hmm.... what else? Tomorrow is holiday, the next day will be my birthday. Well... thinking of... aaaaahhhh.... I'll put up a special birthday post later.
To: whom which is concerned...
What happened last night was a total disaster. I've let myself go random like that till I hurt one of the most important people in my life. Well, too high... and I was like... don't really know how to express properly. My own mistake of turning thing like that, which is the worst ever in history.
Nevermind if you say that I'm an ignorant person or whatsoever, because I only ignore things which I think need to be ignored. Don't ever say that I ignore you because I never wanna do that intentionally, and I got lotsa other priorities to be done and need to arrange the schedule, and I fit in some times for you.
What else? Fake? I always wanted to be true to myself, and from what I put inside that tag thing, I put it all true. Yes, I've revealed unwanted things and stuffs, but let that be history, and I always wanted to change myself (just in case if you refer to the tag thing). Old habits die hard.
Ok la, I admitted my fault for still haven't really understand the situation. No, I understand, but... maybe it's because of I couldn't really control myself at times, so I can be kinda emo la. Sorry about that.
Annoying people? I did annoy some but mostly it's just unintentionally. That's why, if can I would just shut up. But then, I just hate it when you say that I'm ignoring you while I'm not. I had hard times processing words and sentences these days my mind all jumbled up with stuffs. And sometimes I'm deaf. Too much blasting music to my ears. So please be patient if you need to repeat a question for the 2nd time.
You make me sound like a jerk. I am, at times. But it's just because of being high and stress.
Anyway, both of us got flaws right? Haihz.... I don't know the annoyance is so powerful.
... and please, how many times I told you not to use that F-word against me? Yes, I can be stupid sometimes because of too much information and being a lil blurry. I'm also stressed out as you do. So please... all I wanna do is just do avoid fights.
I don't know what else to be said. I know that you're a lot better than me, and I'm trying to be the best as I can for you, you know that right? Because of you I'm trying to be a better person since I'm not that normal, and all I do is learn, and I learn by the hard way.
Anyway, 'nuff said. I rather have a face-to-face talk with you so we can settle over better.
Just wanna say that I'm really sorry and I miss talking to you.
Current Song: How You Remind Me by Nickelback
Woohoo! At last, a great diploma burden has been kinda lifted... wait... still got that darn maths exam... and Java Programming too. =.=;;
..but nevermind. The maths quiz has been postponed till Monday next week. Still got time to study lol. Hmm.... what else? Tomorrow is holiday, the next day will be my birthday. Well... thinking of... aaaaahhhh.... I'll put up a special birthday post later.
To: whom which is concerned...
What happened last night was a total disaster. I've let myself go random like that till I hurt one of the most important people in my life. Well, too high... and I was like... don't really know how to express properly. My own mistake of turning thing like that, which is the worst ever in history.
Nevermind if you say that I'm an ignorant person or whatsoever, because I only ignore things which I think need to be ignored. Don't ever say that I ignore you because I never wanna do that intentionally, and I got lotsa other priorities to be done and need to arrange the schedule, and I fit in some times for you.
What else? Fake? I always wanted to be true to myself, and from what I put inside that tag thing, I put it all true. Yes, I've revealed unwanted things and stuffs, but let that be history, and I always wanted to change myself (just in case if you refer to the tag thing). Old habits die hard.
Ok la, I admitted my fault for still haven't really understand the situation. No, I understand, but... maybe it's because of I couldn't really control myself at times, so I can be kinda emo la. Sorry about that.
Annoying people? I did annoy some but mostly it's just unintentionally. That's why, if can I would just shut up. But then, I just hate it when you say that I'm ignoring you while I'm not. I had hard times processing words and sentences these days my mind all jumbled up with stuffs. And sometimes I'm deaf. Too much blasting music to my ears. So please be patient if you need to repeat a question for the 2nd time.
You make me sound like a jerk. I am, at times. But it's just because of being high and stress.
Anyway, both of us got flaws right? Haihz.... I don't know the annoyance is so powerful.
... and please, how many times I told you not to use that F-word against me? Yes, I can be stupid sometimes because of too much information and being a lil blurry. I'm also stressed out as you do. So please... all I wanna do is just do avoid fights.
I don't know what else to be said. I know that you're a lot better than me, and I'm trying to be the best as I can for you, you know that right? Because of you I'm trying to be a better person since I'm not that normal, and all I do is learn, and I learn by the hard way.
Anyway, 'nuff said. I rather have a face-to-face talk with you so we can settle over better.
Just wanna say that I'm really sorry and I miss talking to you.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tagged? Tagged! Random...
Emotion/s: Tired, sleepy...
Current Song: Ada Apa Denganmu by Peter Pan
Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.
1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), my dad, my darn good uncle from Singapore.... and some other people. Haha!
2. Have you given your first kiss away?
No doubt about that. Yes.
3. What do u hate girls the most?
Too emotional, misunderstood people easily.
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Anywhere peaceful and enjoyable. =)
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Peace to the world! Peaceful enough where I can bring up my family without any harm.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
If I got lucky then can see lo~
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Pass up some to my families and friends, and not to forget those who needed more.
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
I would, but not without evaluation of course!
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Funny, adorable and a temper =p
10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
loyal, good manners, loving, caring, mature, more to thinking than emo...
11. Which do you hate the most?
The darkness inside me.
12.What is your ambition?
Anything that I can do to help other people. An entrepreneur, to be precise. =)
13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Depends on the situation. Usually, they don't point the finger at me for nothing anyway. Must be about something I did before. I take critiques seriously sometimes. It'll help me doing better.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God, family, friends, and yes, peace... because it's hard to obtain.
15. Describe yourself. 3pros and 3 cons
16. Are you a pessimist?
At some points and some times, yes.
17. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
My other side which is a con-man, a manipulator, a cynist and a thief?
18. Is there anything that u have done which u regret?
Did some bad things long time ago. But nah... nothing to regret. Each path I take leads to another lesson and something new to learn.
19. What makes you different?
Hmm... maybe because I'm more analytic / less emo and have an iron will? (A almost-heartless person)
20. I wish...
...to have her by my side till death took us part.
...
Okays! Enough of the tag stuffs! Going back slaving myself to work, again....
...and oh yeah, before that...
I didn't mean to ignore ya? Sorry. Don't blame me to forget some of the other stuffs I'm all focussed to my diploma, my life here. I can only contact you for some time and couldn't entertain you much. Please understand my situation here. Please understand Padil's too.
.. and ya, lately I didn't receive any proper replies and manners I got from your messages. Yes, we are all in a hurry and stuffs. I don't really mind the lateness but please answer things properly, not like when I ask you whether you have eaten then you answer differently. And yes, sometimes there's almost no replies.
...and I hate people answer when they're angry because they tend to answer based on their raging emotion, not by rational explanation. Sorry, but it's a fact I read somewhere and also from experience.
Anyway, we both know and understands that we're all busy, and sometimes couldn't entertain each other much. But remember, politeness, respect and proper words are the best medicine during these times, these hard times where we both dealing in a lot of stuffs from college to hearts. Sorry if any part of what I said hurts you. I never mean any. Just a responsibility of reminding myself and you.
Alrites! Wanna go sleep now. Need to wake up early. Diploma show, the final presentation is just hours away. For people out there wish us luck ya? =)
...darn... I'm too tired.
*hops to the bed*
Current Song: Ada Apa Denganmu by Peter Pan
Instructions: Remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.
1. Who is your all-time inspiration?
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), my dad, my darn good uncle from Singapore.... and some other people. Haha!
2. Have you given your first kiss away?
No doubt about that. Yes.
3. What do u hate girls the most?
Too emotional, misunderstood people easily.
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
Anywhere peaceful and enjoyable. =)
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
Peace to the world! Peaceful enough where I can bring up my family without any harm.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
If I got lucky then can see lo~
7. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
Pass up some to my families and friends, and not to forget those who needed more.
8. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
I would, but not without evaluation of course!
9. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
Funny, adorable and a temper =p
10. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
loyal, good manners, loving, caring, mature, more to thinking than emo...
11. Which do you hate the most?
The darkness inside me.
12.What is your ambition?
Anything that I can do to help other people. An entrepreneur, to be precise. =)
13. If you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
Depends on the situation. Usually, they don't point the finger at me for nothing anyway. Must be about something I did before. I take critiques seriously sometimes. It'll help me doing better.
14. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God, family, friends, and yes, peace... because it's hard to obtain.
15. Describe yourself. 3pros and 3 cons
Pros: Very patient I presume? Ignorance helped me to gain more patience from radical and unwanted critiques out there. Rather a selfless person. Friendly. But then it' s the people who can judge me, not me judging myself.
Cons: Likes to be alone, cynical, temptation to provoke people which can lead to their hot temper.
Cons: Likes to be alone, cynical, temptation to provoke people which can lead to their hot temper.
16. Are you a pessimist?
At some points and some times, yes.
17. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
My other side which is a con-man, a manipulator, a cynist and a thief?
18. Is there anything that u have done which u regret?
Did some bad things long time ago. But nah... nothing to regret. Each path I take leads to another lesson and something new to learn.
19. What makes you different?
Hmm... maybe because I'm more analytic / less emo and have an iron will? (A almost-heartless person)
20. I wish...
...to have her by my side till death took us part.
...
Okays! Enough of the tag stuffs! Going back slaving myself to work, again....
...and oh yeah, before that...
I didn't mean to ignore ya? Sorry. Don't blame me to forget some of the other stuffs I'm all focussed to my diploma, my life here. I can only contact you for some time and couldn't entertain you much. Please understand my situation here. Please understand Padil's too.
.. and ya, lately I didn't receive any proper replies and manners I got from your messages. Yes, we are all in a hurry and stuffs. I don't really mind the lateness but please answer things properly, not like when I ask you whether you have eaten then you answer differently. And yes, sometimes there's almost no replies.
...and I hate people answer when they're angry because they tend to answer based on their raging emotion, not by rational explanation. Sorry, but it's a fact I read somewhere and also from experience.
Anyway, we both know and understands that we're all busy, and sometimes couldn't entertain each other much. But remember, politeness, respect and proper words are the best medicine during these times, these hard times where we both dealing in a lot of stuffs from college to hearts. Sorry if any part of what I said hurts you. I never mean any. Just a responsibility of reminding myself and you.
Alrites! Wanna go sleep now. Need to wake up early. Diploma show, the final presentation is just hours away. For people out there wish us luck ya? =)
...darn... I'm too tired.
*hops to the bed*
Monday, April 28, 2008
The day before final presentation
Emotion/s: Tired, under pressure, a lil relieved...
Current Song: Realize by Tamaki Nami
Finished 80% of the entire works. Tomorrow is the day where my destiny be changed.... MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!! *gets shot*
Okay, that was random...
Anyway, tomorrow will be the day. Presentation, all sweaty palms and brains going all confused and topsy turvy. Oh, man.... hopefully I can collect enough strength to face it all. Tonight I'm gonna settle down the on-screen presentation, using either Flash or PowerPoint.
Need my time to relax a bit before continuing my works.
Can't stop thinking of her, anyway... mind's being all jumbled up by lotsa stuffs.
Current Song: Realize by Tamaki Nami
Finished 80% of the entire works. Tomorrow is the day where my destiny be changed.... MUAHAHAHAHAH!!!! *gets shot*
Okay, that was random...
Anyway, tomorrow will be the day. Presentation, all sweaty palms and brains going all confused and topsy turvy. Oh, man.... hopefully I can collect enough strength to face it all. Tonight I'm gonna settle down the on-screen presentation, using either Flash or PowerPoint.
Need my time to relax a bit before continuing my works.
Can't stop thinking of her, anyway... mind's being all jumbled up by lotsa stuffs.
Friday, April 25, 2008
The sum of all fears...
Emotion/s: Pressured, almost giving up...
Current Song: Friends by Stephanie
This is it.... I'll be asking for help from a friend of mine. Finished my logos and packaging, and I went braindead after attempting to settle down the other promotional items. Hopefully I'll get real help this time. God please help us all here. Let us pass this darn diploma thing and let us break free from the evil clutches of the college. I beg you. T_T
Anyway, no time for moping. Never been this desperate, and in a midst of giving up. I'll actually will do almost everything for passing this darn diploma final presentation. The presentation supposed to be held in around at least 3 weeks more. Due to some reasons the lecturer wanna leave the hell of a college and quicken the deadline. Plus, no other lecturer can replace her since she's the only one who can handle us when it comes to this subject (She's not that good either, diploma same like us, only we're better, trust me ;-\)...
Indeed, it's a sum of all fears we're facing now...
My works still yet to finish. Still got a hell lot to catch up and the presentation will be held this upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday.
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current Song: Friends by Stephanie
This is it.... I'll be asking for help from a friend of mine. Finished my logos and packaging, and I went braindead after attempting to settle down the other promotional items. Hopefully I'll get real help this time. God please help us all here. Let us pass this darn diploma thing and let us break free from the evil clutches of the college. I beg you. T_T
Anyway, no time for moping. Never been this desperate, and in a midst of giving up. I'll actually will do almost everything for passing this darn diploma final presentation. The presentation supposed to be held in around at least 3 weeks more. Due to some reasons the lecturer wanna leave the hell of a college and quicken the deadline. Plus, no other lecturer can replace her since she's the only one who can handle us when it comes to this subject (She's not that good either, diploma same like us, only we're better, trust me ;-\)...
Indeed, it's a sum of all fears we're facing now...
My works still yet to finish. Still got a hell lot to catch up and the presentation will be held this upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday.
Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Blackout blues
Emotion/s: Pressured, focussed...
Current Song: Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park
Murtabak bought a spare fuse last night. Illegal, yes, but what else can be done since we're all in the middle of final project and already hanged for several days without electricity & the dateline is getting too near....
It's a joy after the fuse was initiated. I did several items for the final project last night. It's not much, but enough to convince my lecturer that I told her I'll show some of my works.... and to tell her that my house still lack of electricity at the same time....
...and there's still lots more to catch on.
3 nights without electricity, let down those underlings of Order69 and also made the works postponed without options, then facing stupid remarks and reasons from college admins. The whole house got all pissed off. At last we couldn't do anything but to take on the offer from the college to go buy the spare fuse. Hopefully the Tenaga Nasional electric company won't come down and check the fuse.
*prays & off to class*
Current Song: Breaking The Habit by Linkin Park
Murtabak bought a spare fuse last night. Illegal, yes, but what else can be done since we're all in the middle of final project and already hanged for several days without electricity & the dateline is getting too near....
It's a joy after the fuse was initiated. I did several items for the final project last night. It's not much, but enough to convince my lecturer that I told her I'll show some of my works.... and to tell her that my house still lack of electricity at the same time....
...and there's still lots more to catch on.
3 nights without electricity, let down those underlings of Order69 and also made the works postponed without options, then facing stupid remarks and reasons from college admins. The whole house got all pissed off. At last we couldn't do anything but to take on the offer from the college to go buy the spare fuse. Hopefully the Tenaga Nasional electric company won't come down and check the fuse.
*prays & off to class*
Monday, April 21, 2008
Of Artemis Fowl randomness...
Emotion/s: Blurry, tried but then can't sleep... @_@
Current Song: My Last Breath by Evanescence
I think somethings wrong with my biological clock though... My slumber schedule went topsy turvy all jumbled up in random. @_@
Anyway, during my recent visit to PWTC International Book Fair 2008, I bought not-so whole set of Artemis Fowl novels; which are 4 out of 5. Finished reading the 1st one, and I found it great, wonderful and the story itself is exhilarating. XD And not to mention that I found it better than reading Harry Potter .
*gets thrown with tomatoes, cabbages and some boo-ish applause by some Harry Potter fans*
...but guys, serious the story is darn nice, and after this I wanna start reading the 2nd book. Hmm... whenever got time I wanna go hunt for the 5th. ^^
Ok, that's it for being random. =)
*hops back to the bed*
p/s: New skin. =)
Current Song: My Last Breath by Evanescence
I think somethings wrong with my biological clock though... My slumber schedule went topsy turvy all jumbled up in random. @_@
Anyway, during my recent visit to PWTC International Book Fair 2008, I bought not-so whole set of Artemis Fowl novels; which are 4 out of 5. Finished reading the 1st one, and I found it great, wonderful and the story itself is exhilarating. XD And not to mention that I found it better than reading Harry Potter .
*gets thrown with tomatoes, cabbages and some boo-ish applause by some Harry Potter fans*
...but guys, serious the story is darn nice, and after this I wanna start reading the 2nd book. Hmm... whenever got time I wanna go hunt for the 5th. ^^
Ok, that's it for being random. =)
*hops back to the bed*
p/s: New skin. =)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Of college matters and death
Emotion/s: Normal, blurry, tired (just woke up)...
Current Song: Wan Mei De Yi Tian by Stephanie Sun
Nothing much happened these days. Only that the Diploma Show-cum-Final presentation is around the corner. As for me and the entire class, things are yet to be done. The lecturers don't really care much, and we don't have the proper guide for the entire semester. We need to do things all by ourselves. That is really unforgivable for their profession and for us. We had our rights to have proper preparations and systematic schedule.
See what happened to our college recently? Their office building was being sold weeks ago. Now our building is darn crowded. To make things worse, they even implemented pay-per-park parking space. Lucky I don't have any cars to drive except for hitching a ride with Padil on his motorbike. But then one thing troubled us even though we don't need to pay for the parking; it's the parking space. 99% of the spaces are occupied every day.
.. 'nuff said of that.
Anyway Za, I'm sorry for your mom's death last tuesday. God bless her soul and put her to a peaceful rest and a better place up there. For you and family, I hopefully you guys be calm about this. God loves her more and her time has came. Al-Fatihah...
Current Song: Wan Mei De Yi Tian by Stephanie Sun
Nothing much happened these days. Only that the Diploma Show-cum-Final presentation is around the corner. As for me and the entire class, things are yet to be done. The lecturers don't really care much, and we don't have the proper guide for the entire semester. We need to do things all by ourselves. That is really unforgivable for their profession and for us. We had our rights to have proper preparations and systematic schedule.
See what happened to our college recently? Their office building was being sold weeks ago. Now our building is darn crowded. To make things worse, they even implemented pay-per-park parking space. Lucky I don't have any cars to drive except for hitching a ride with Padil on his motorbike. But then one thing troubled us even though we don't need to pay for the parking; it's the parking space. 99% of the spaces are occupied every day.
.. 'nuff said of that.
Anyway Za, I'm sorry for your mom's death last tuesday. God bless her soul and put her to a peaceful rest and a better place up there. For you and family, I hopefully you guys be calm about this. God loves her more and her time has came. Al-Fatihah...
Monday, April 14, 2008
Of guild gathering...
Emotion/s: Normal, smiling a lil...
Current Song: My Immortal by Evanescence
Just got back from math's class. Had breakfast at McD after class lol, now waiting for the next class at 2. :)
Anyway, me & Padil & some other guild members (Order69) planned to make a gathering this week, and yes, Janna & Kyo (employers & also FusionXT guild leaders) wanna come along too. Well, me & Janna planned to kill 2 birds with 1 stone; Alliance outing between Order69 & FusionXT. XD Place of gathering haven't yet decided but it'll be around our area. It'll be around less than 10 people meeting. ^^
Gonna rest for a while before off to class again. :)
Love her very much. <33
Current Song: My Immortal by Evanescence
Just got back from math's class. Had breakfast at McD after class lol, now waiting for the next class at 2. :)
Anyway, me & Padil & some other guild members (Order69) planned to make a gathering this week, and yes, Janna & Kyo (employers & also FusionXT guild leaders) wanna come along too. Well, me & Janna planned to kill 2 birds with 1 stone; Alliance outing between Order69 & FusionXT. XD Place of gathering haven't yet decided but it'll be around our area. It'll be around less than 10 people meeting. ^^
Gonna rest for a while before off to class again. :)
Love her very much. <33
Friday, April 11, 2008
Random and sleepy // College and assignments
Emotion/s: Sleepy, tired, blurry...
Current Song: Killer by JJ Lin Jun Jie
Okays... gonna pass up the darn Flash assignment in few more hours (after my sleep, of course!) Haha! Darn tired and I could like swaying around walking in snake's trail and mumbling strange words known only by no one except God, only that it's known universally as "TIRED". XD I'm started to go haywire by thoughts.
...and for her, nothing else to say but welcome back. Miss you a lot. Hope we learned from past mistakes. :)
Waaaarrrgghhhff!! Final presentation is like 3 weeks more! Me and my whole class, I mean WHOLE CLASS is like doing nothing yet. Haven't proceeded yet our semi-comps and even on-screen designs. Hahaha! At last, the lecturers wanted us to just finish things up without much to be compromised and we'll just go do stuffs our way, straight from our head.
...and darn idiotic college did some other troubles left unspoken, and I heard it's almost turning- down bankrupt big time! Oh please I beg you people at least please let us finish our diploma before you guys wanna crumble apart. DX
Anyway, gotta sleep before I go really outta juice to stand up in sunrise. Will be leaving home early for Friday prayers.
*hops to the bed*
Current Song: Killer by JJ Lin Jun Jie
Okays... gonna pass up the darn Flash assignment in few more hours (after my sleep, of course!) Haha! Darn tired and I could like swaying around walking in snake's trail and mumbling strange words known only by no one except God, only that it's known universally as "TIRED". XD I'm started to go haywire by thoughts.
...and for her, nothing else to say but welcome back. Miss you a lot. Hope we learned from past mistakes. :)
Waaaarrrgghhhff!! Final presentation is like 3 weeks more! Me and my whole class, I mean WHOLE CLASS is like doing nothing yet. Haven't proceeded yet our semi-comps and even on-screen designs. Hahaha! At last, the lecturers wanted us to just finish things up without much to be compromised and we'll just go do stuffs our way, straight from our head.
...and darn idiotic college did some other troubles left unspoken, and I heard it's almost turning- down bankrupt big time! Oh please I beg you people at least please let us finish our diploma before you guys wanna crumble apart. DX
Anyway, gotta sleep before I go really outta juice to stand up in sunrise. Will be leaving home early for Friday prayers.
*hops to the bed*
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
Rebuiding the ruins...
Emotion/s: A lil confused, broken, numb...
Current Song: When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne
An idea supposed to be helping wasn't even helping. Found out to be the worse ever, painful which came between bliss and the pain itself. A part of me could only wished that the execution never done, and rather to have things being let be as it is. Another part? Thought of the best solution ever, since both sides agree, or not...
... and most of the mistakes been done by me, in major context. But who noes if the other side had some? God knows best...
But decision has been done, the pain is taken by both sides. As days came by, one side was able to contain self which results of self-reliance, or should I say, both of them? But ironically...
... one side missed those moments, even though much focussed for another most important thing. Is this what people called sacrifice? Or maybe it's just foolhardy of a person thinks of hurting another while trying not to for the sake of finding a better, painless and a perfect solution?
Had been fighting sinister and wrongly thoughts of another, and yet still. I did it. But was it not enough or is it fated to be like that? I could only cry & pray while doing all I can.
Distracted by life-changing subjects and some other important things, felt like missing something that I should remember as one of those important too. Was it because I'm just incapable, handicapped by disability of what a normal person would do? Did I left my responsibilities whilst I trying to reshuffle back the schedule programmed inside my mind, or maybe change some parts of the plan? Till now I've been tried and still couldn't do anything.
Did my own patience betrayed me? Or I'm just incapable to do what I must in order to satisfy another group of people then left the one which I really love and care of?
Call me anything; lousy to liar, coward to cow's pat. I never care of those all I know is I did what I have to do even though they'll hurt me and the other real bad.
Well, to release something important just like that without even really thinking isn't a best solution, even more if running away from solving the matter while leaving the important one just like that is more, which is, unforgivable. But for those who can forgive, they'll forgive, but then...
... could it be forgotten just like that? It's a memory which is hard to be taken off the mind. Even it's so, it can be put dormant for some time till it'll flash back, which will be triggered by some reason and events.
Anyway, I just missed her so much. Even though my tears all dried up for now, but still this heart cries be it for remorse of losing or happy for the returning.
...
... I must say that I'm a darn stubborn person who won't even try to give up things so easily. When there's a will, there's a way. That's what I believe, and I'm a person who tries to satisfy all sides without hurting any, or if so then it'll be reduced to minimum, let self takes all the blows.
I'm defending my 10% which is almost hopeless (that's what people told me to just give up on), and I don't even care for the 90% of what my heart says. But then... NO
Current Song: When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne
An idea supposed to be helping wasn't even helping. Found out to be the worse ever, painful which came between bliss and the pain itself. A part of me could only wished that the execution never done, and rather to have things being let be as it is. Another part? Thought of the best solution ever, since both sides agree, or not...
... and most of the mistakes been done by me, in major context. But who noes if the other side had some? God knows best...
But decision has been done, the pain is taken by both sides. As days came by, one side was able to contain self which results of self-reliance, or should I say, both of them? But ironically...
... one side missed those moments, even though much focussed for another most important thing. Is this what people called sacrifice? Or maybe it's just foolhardy of a person thinks of hurting another while trying not to for the sake of finding a better, painless and a perfect solution?
Had been fighting sinister and wrongly thoughts of another, and yet still. I did it. But was it not enough or is it fated to be like that? I could only cry & pray while doing all I can.
Distracted by life-changing subjects and some other important things, felt like missing something that I should remember as one of those important too. Was it because I'm just incapable, handicapped by disability of what a normal person would do? Did I left my responsibilities whilst I trying to reshuffle back the schedule programmed inside my mind, or maybe change some parts of the plan? Till now I've been tried and still couldn't do anything.
Did my own patience betrayed me? Or I'm just incapable to do what I must in order to satisfy another group of people then left the one which I really love and care of?
Call me anything; lousy to liar, coward to cow's pat. I never care of those all I know is I did what I have to do even though they'll hurt me and the other real bad.
Well, to release something important just like that without even really thinking isn't a best solution, even more if running away from solving the matter while leaving the important one just like that is more, which is, unforgivable. But for those who can forgive, they'll forgive, but then...
... could it be forgotten just like that? It's a memory which is hard to be taken off the mind. Even it's so, it can be put dormant for some time till it'll flash back, which will be triggered by some reason and events.
Anyway, I just missed her so much. Even though my tears all dried up for now, but still this heart cries be it for remorse of losing or happy for the returning.
...
... I must say that I'm a darn stubborn person who won't even try to give up things so easily. When there's a will, there's a way. That's what I believe, and I'm a person who tries to satisfy all sides without hurting any, or if so then it'll be reduced to minimum, let self takes all the blows.
I'm defending my 10% which is almost hopeless (that's what people told me to just give up on), and I don't even care for the 90% of what my heart says. But then... NO
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Of High Street 5 and practical course
Emotion/s: Normal...
Current Song: Is It You by Cassie
This song kept ringing in my ears and become permanent in my brains...
Been meeting Janna and Kyoshiro yesterday. Me, Padil & Zapril met our gonna-be officemates and they're not so bad. :) Almost the same like us; cheerful, bubbly, energetic, and lotsa jokes. Haha!! We're almost the same. ^^ Found out that their office is located just in front of Old Uptown d'uh. Haha! We had lunch at Jusco 1 Utama foodcourt, eat while chatting with lotsa fun and laughter.
... anyway, High Street 5 rules, and Janna, as 1 of the managers got the contract of handling the advertisements of the Hip-Hop Dance competition at Sg Wang this week. ^^
And today, Janna told me that she has sent our CVs and artwork samples for review, and the evaluation has been done today. Only then we need to wait for the call from their side. Then after that, formal interview. The real boss, her big sister is well, darn strict. Darn interview.... >.<
Anyway, some workers there worked overtime (nice overtime there... only for High Street 5). ROFLMAO
...but their works are good. A fun enviroment, and a very tight boss. >.<
A week seemed like a year. Missed her a lot.
Current Song: Is It You by Cassie
This song kept ringing in my ears and become permanent in my brains...
Been meeting Janna and Kyoshiro yesterday. Me, Padil & Zapril met our gonna-be officemates and they're not so bad. :) Almost the same like us; cheerful, bubbly, energetic, and lotsa jokes. Haha!! We're almost the same. ^^ Found out that their office is located just in front of Old Uptown d'uh. Haha! We had lunch at Jusco 1 Utama foodcourt, eat while chatting with lotsa fun and laughter.
... anyway, High Street 5 rules, and Janna, as 1 of the managers got the contract of handling the advertisements of the Hip-Hop Dance competition at Sg Wang this week. ^^
And today, Janna told me that she has sent our CVs and artwork samples for review, and the evaluation has been done today. Only then we need to wait for the call from their side. Then after that, formal interview. The real boss, her big sister is well, darn strict. Darn interview.... >.<
Anyway, some workers there worked overtime (nice overtime there... only for High Street 5). ROFLMAO
...but their works are good. A fun enviroment, and a very tight boss. >.<
A week seemed like a year. Missed her a lot.
