Save Green / &I'm Green; Fill me in

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Rebuiding the ruins...

Emotion/s: A lil confused, broken, numb...

Current Song: When You're Gone by Avril Lavigne

An idea supposed to be helping wasn't even helping. Found out to be the worse ever, painful which came between bliss and the pain itself. A part of me could only wished that the execution never done, and rather to have things being let be as it is. Another part? Thought of the best solution ever, since both sides agree, or not...

... and most of the mistakes been done by me, in major context. But who noes if the other side had some? God knows best...

But decision has been done, the pain is taken by both sides. As days came by, one side was able to contain self which results of self-reliance, or should I say, both of them? But ironically...

... one side missed those moments, even though much focussed for another most important thing. Is this what people called sacrifice? Or maybe it's just foolhardy of a person thinks of hurting another while trying not to for the sake of finding a better, painless and a perfect solution?

Had been fighting sinister and wrongly thoughts of another, and yet still. I did it. But was it not enough or is it fated to be like that? I could only cry & pray while doing all I can.

Distracted by life-changing subjects and some other important things, felt like missing something that I should remember as one of those important too. Was it because I'm just incapable, handicapped by disability of what a normal person would do? Did I left my responsibilities whilst I trying to reshuffle back the schedule programmed inside my mind, or maybe change some parts of the plan? Till now I've been tried and still couldn't do anything.

Did my own patience betrayed me? Or I'm just incapable to do what I must in order to satisfy another group of people then left the one which I really love and care of?

Call me anything; lousy to liar, coward to cow's pat. I never care of those all I know is I did what I have to do even though they'll hurt me and the other real bad.

Well, to release something important just like that without even really thinking isn't a best solution, even more if running away from solving the matter while leaving the important one just like that is more, which is, unforgivable. But for those who can forgive, they'll forgive, but then...

... could it be forgotten just like that? It's a memory which is hard to be taken off the mind. Even it's so, it can be put dormant for some time till it'll flash back, which will be triggered by some reason and events.

Anyway, I just missed her so much. Even though my tears all dried up for now, but still this heart cries be it for remorse of losing or happy for the returning.

...

... I must say that I'm a darn stubborn person who won't even try to give up things so easily. When there's a will, there's a way. That's what I believe, and I'm a person who tries to satisfy all sides without hurting any, or if so then it'll be reduced to minimum, let self takes all the blows.

I'm defending my 10% which is almost hopeless (that's what people told me to just give up on), and I don't even care for the 90% of what my heart says. But then... NO

♠/MY Green Personalities

Khair a.k.a Gypsydres
Talks as much as he observes
As emo as his gh3ys.
Hard as rock and twice as sensitive :)

♣/ The Green Hobbies

Anime, manga, games~~
Cosplay~~ (just started)
Writing poems and stuffs
Reading stuffs
Slacking :p
Chatting (I'm talkative XD)
ParaPara Paradise
Initial D arcade (not pro) ^^"

...and the rest you ask yourself.